I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut
right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the
shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough
that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely
and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every
day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Give her the finger? I don't think so.

There is one problem though, speaking from a purely statistical standpoint. I won't argue that he passes 36,000 cars. I also won't argue that 50% (18,000) of those cars are piloted by female drivers. The one out of twenty-eight statistic for PMS is okay, too. After this, however, he starts getting into percentages of percentages which is a common statistical fallacy. Because 70% of women feel that their love life is disatisfying, doesn't necessarily mean that 70% of the 4% that are on PMS feel that way. It gets worse as he continues since it is almost certain that it isn't 22% of the 70% of the 4% that have considered homocide or suicide. As it goes it just gets worse from there...


Sorry, y'all...it was just the mathematician coming out in me... The joke is awfully funny, still.